2.  Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class.

3.  Twitch a lot.

4.  Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep.

5.  Steal a fishtank.  Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it.  Talk to them.

6.  Become a subgenius.

7.  Inject his/her twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.

8.  Learn to levitate.  While your roommate is looking away, float up out
     of your seat.  When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.

9.  Speak in tongues.

10.  Move you roommate's personal effects around.  Start subtlely.
      Gradually work up to big things, and eventually glue everything s/he
      owns to the ceiling.

11.  Walk and talk backwards.

12.  Spend all your money on Jolt Cola.  Drink it all.  Stack the cans in
      the middle of your room.  Number them.

13.  Spend all your money on Transformers.  Play with them at night.  If
      your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face,
      "They're more than meets the eye."

14.  Recite entire movie scripts (e.g. "The Road Warrior," "Repo Man,"
      Casablanca,") almost inaudibly.

15.  Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while playing Wagnerian arias on a
      kazoo.  If your roommate complains, explain that it is for your performance
      art class (or hit him/her with the wrench).

16.  Collect all your urine in a small jug.

17.  Chain yourself to your roommate's bed.  Get him/her to bring you
      food.

18.  Get a computer.  Leave it on when you are not using it.  Turn it off
      when you are.

19.  Ask your roommate if your family can move in "just for a couple of
      weeks."

20.  Buy as many back issues of Field and Stream as you can.  Pretend to
       masturbate while reading them.

21.  Fake a heart attack.  When your roommate gets the paramedics to
      come, pretend nothing happened.

22.  Eat glass.

23.  Smoke ballpoint pens.

24.  Smile.  All the time.

25.  Collect dog shit in baby food jars.  Sort them according to what you
       think the dog ate.

26.  Burn all your waste paper while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.

27.  Hide a bunch of potato chips and Ho Hos in the bottom of a trash
       can.  When you get hungry, root around in the trash.  Find the food,
       and eat it.  If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry,
       demand that s/he reimburse you.

28.  Leave a declaration of war on your roommate's desk.  Include a list
       of grievances.

29.  Paste boogers on the windows in occult patterns.

30.  Shoot rubber bands at your roommate while his/her back is turned,
       and then look away quickly.

31.  Dye all your underwear lime green.

32.  Spill a lot of beer on his/her bed.  Swim.

33.  Bye three loaves of stale bread.  Grow mold in the closet.

34.  Hide your underwear and socks in your roommate's closet.
       Accuse him/her of stealing it.

35.  Remove your door.  Ship it to your roommate's parents (postage due).

36.  Pray to Azazoth or Zoroaster.  Sacrifice something nasty.

37.  Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up.
       Announce that you are going to take a shower.  Do so.  Keep this up
       for three weeks.

38.  Arrange thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser.
       Refuse to discuss them.

39.  Paint your half of the room black.  Or paisley.

40.  Whenever he/she is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start
       with "Didja ever wonder why...."  Be creative.

41.  Shave one eyebrow.

42.  Put your mattress underneath your bed.  Sleep down under there and
       pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe.  If your roommate
       comments, mutter "Gotta save space," twenty times while twitching violently.

43.  Put horseradish in your shoes.

44.  Shelve all your books with the spines facing the wall.  Complain
       loudly that you can never find the book that you want.

45.  Always flush the toilet three times.

46.  Subsist entirely on pickles for a week.  Vomit often.

47.  Buy a copy of Frankie Yankovic's "Pennsylvania Polka," and play it
       at least 6 hours a day.  If your roommate complains, explain that it's
       an assignment for your primitive cultures class.

48.  Give him/her an allowance.

49.  Listen to radio static.

50.  Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night.  Close
       them as soon as you wake up.

51.  Cry a lot.

52.  Send secret admirer notes on your roommate's blitzmail.

53.  Clip your fingernails and toenails and keep them in a baggie. Leave
       the baggie near your computer and snack from it while studying. If
       he/she walks by, grab the bag close and eye him/her suspiciously.

54.  Paste used kleenexes to his/her walls.

55.  Whenever your roomate comes in from the shower, lower your eyes and
       giggle to yourself.

56.  If you get in before your roomate, go to sleep in his/her bed.

57.  Put pornos under his/her bed. Whenever someone comes to visit your
       roommate when they're not home, show them the magazines.

58.  Whenever you go to sleep, start jumping on your bed . . . do so for a
       while, then jump really high and act like you hit your head on the
       ceiling. Crumple onto your bed and fake like you were knocked out . .
       Fall asleep this way each night for a month.